My letter to all Packers fans

Dear Packers fans attending tomorrow's Vikings vs. Packers game,

It would give me great pleasure and satisfaction if you would all please so kindly throw cheese at Brett Favrererer each time he takes the field at Lambeau tomorrow. It would also maybe stop the commentators weird love fest with him too.

That is all.

Love,

Barbie

You've GOT to be kidding me!

As I've said on Twitter - Brett Favre retires and unretires faster than Usain Bolt runs 100m.

So the Vikings signed Favre today. *Sigh* Thanks Minnesota. So here's the thing: Week 8 the Vikings are visiting Lambeau. Cheeseheads, I'm begging you. Find as much moldy, gross, stinky cheese and throw it at Favre. Please.

The off-season news hogger award goes to...

Why is everything all about Brett this off-season?? Anyway Favre had his right shoulder scoped last month apparently and is working on getting back to 100%. The Vikes are still interested for who knows what reason if Favre chooses to come back and unretire AGAIN.

Dear Mr. Favre

Dear Brett:

It has come to my attention that you are contemplating (yet again) a return to the NFL. I regret to inform you that unfortunately, I have had enough and frankly there is no room in my NFL fandom for you to return. I have come up with possible reasons for your return:

1. You want to further increase your chances of keeping your Most INTs record by throwing at least another 30 this season.
2. You heard the Vikes are interested and have gone senile enough to think that purple would look good on you.
3. You're hoping to go to a Florida team since that's where most people go to retire anyways.

Well here's a thought Brett, just move to Punta Gorda and do what everyone else who has hit freedom 55 does, golf, knit, do crosswords, sail, basically anything but play football. If Punta Gorda isn't good enough for you, you can check this link out.

Good luck in your retirement.

Love,

Barbie

P.S. The hat suits you.

"OK guys this time I mean it..."

And so today marks the day that Brett Favre retires...again. Look Brett, I know you love football and what not but really if you try to come back again, I will scream. I will scream louder than I scream when I hear Joe Buck's voice. I know you love the game and honestly, I respect that. But there comes a time when that love cannot carry your body anymore (go ask Kevin Costner, he made the movie...or just go to your local video store and rent it). So enjoy your retirement just as much as NFL fans enjoyed your first 17 seasons. The 18th just gave me stuff to write about so I appreciate that but I don't think many others did.

Rodgers catching a case of the Favres?

After last night's game, I'm convinced Aaron Rodgers used to say, "When I grow up, I want to be just like Brett Favre!"

Well Mr. Rodgers congratulations. After last night's performance you are the new Brett Favre. You might as well stick a number 4 on your jersey. 248 yds 2 TDs and here it comes 3 INTs. My poor fantasy team almost came back from being down 93-46 going into last night's game. I got up to 93-93 and tied it up and then do you know what happened? That's right Rodgers threw his 3 INT of the night and I lost 93-92. No I'm not bitter at all.

Now the game wasn't entirely your fault, Aaron. Your defense thought staying in Green Bay would be a way better idea than showing up in New Orleans. 51 points...you guys gave up 51 points!!! Who do you think you are? Texas Tech? 7 TDs and a FG. Man! Keyshawn's totally putting you guys in the next C'mon Man segment.

McNabb on the bench

Donovan McNabb got benched at half time today for lack of productivity. Here's a list of things he was probably doing during the 2nd half:

1. Reading the NFL rule book - Wow guys games really can end in a tie. That's AMAZING!
2. Texting Romo to see how well he gets along with T.O. - 213 yds? Really that well??
3. Telling Andy Reid he hopes they can continue their man-love which is equivalent to Madden/Favre.
4. Writing an "I'm sorry" letter to T.O.
5. Eating Chunky in hopes he can keep his deal with Campbell's because Momma McNabb will be angry otherwise.
6. Wondering if the Ti-Cats need a QB since his wife's already in Hamilton.
7. Learning to play hockey - since the NHL has no ties.
8. Looking at a Rogaine pamphlet to reverse the obvious balding.
9. Applying for a position in Obama's administration.
10. Wondering if he should take down his fathead of Andy Reid he has above his bed.
11. Calling his travel agent - Hi I'd like to book a trip to somewhere warm on Dec. 29th. No no don't be silly there won't be a post-season for me.
12. Creating a Facebook event for Pacman's return - C'mon Pacman I know you wanna party!
13. Thinking "Ha ha Kolb's so cold with his bare arms and look at me looking like a little baby all bundled up in my coat!"
14. Checkin' out time shares in a Florida retirement community
15. Wondering how many licks it takes to get to the centre of a Tootsie Pop.

The great debate: Favre vs. Pennington

So who got the better end of this? The Jets or the Dolphins? Everyone knows I'm biased on this one but still. The Jets lead the Dolphins in the standings by 1 game but in the long-run, I'm handing this one to the Dolphins. The Jets benefited in financial ways from the sales of Favre jerseys but he either wins or loses games. He's just not been consistent enough for me. Pennington in my mind has stepped up in Miami as a leader. Favre's always been a leader but he's risky, which for me I'd rather have consistency than a risky guy who's either going to get to the guy in triple coverage or miss and throw it into the hands of one of the 3 defenders. Also, Brett, dude, you're old. I'm sorry. I know Kurt Warner's old too but he also plays in the easiest division in the NFL. I get it you love the game and I respect you for that. But take a note from Kevin Costner and pack it in for love of the game. I know it'll upset John Madden and Joe Buck but they'll get over it.