My letter to all Packers fans

Dear Packers fans attending tomorrow's Vikings vs. Packers game,

It would give me great pleasure and satisfaction if you would all please so kindly throw cheese at Brett Favrererer each time he takes the field at Lambeau tomorrow. It would also maybe stop the commentators weird love fest with him too.

That is all.

Love,

Barbie

Week 5 Picks

Browns @ Bills
Steelers @ Lions
Cowboys @ Chiefs
Vikings @ Rams
Raiders @ Giants
Bucs @ Eagles
Redskins @ Panthers
Bengals @ Ravens
Falcons @ 49ers
Patriots @ Broncos
Texans @ Cardinals
Jaguars @ Seahawks
Colts @ Titans
Jets @ Dolphins

Edwards is far from Lebron, Crabtree caved and other week 5 news

Mark Sanchez has a new target to throw to this Sunday after the Browns traded WR Braylon Edwards, which we all know had something to do with him getting in a fight with Lebron's friends. C'mon Cleveland. We're not the dumb. We can put two and two together; even little blonde me could figure it out. We'll see how Edwards plays in New York. But I'm not really expecting much. I still have no faith in the rookie Sanchez (especially after last week).

The Browns, on the other hand, got WR Chansi Stuckey, LB Jason Trusnik and two undisclosed draft choices. They also came very close to stealing a win from the Bengals last week. This week, they're playing the Bills. I have a feeling the Bills are just going to get worse and worse the more T.O. gets frustrated. So perhaps the Browns actually pull out a win on the road this week.

Crabtree finally realized that 1. he's an idiot, 2. he's not going to get more money and 3. if he gets redrafted next year, he's really not going to get more money. He agreed to a 6-year, $32 mil deal with the 49ers after holding out and somehow the moron actually got more money (previously was offered 5 years, $20 mil). We'll see if he's worth it. I think this year is probably going to be a bust for him.

Other news around the league, QB Donovan McNabb is listed as probable and will most likely start for the Eagles against the Bucs. QB Matt Hasselbeck is expected to start for the Seahawks. The Steelers will probably be without Troy Polamalu again [he's still busy making Head & Shoulders commercials (side note: Troy, I love that commercial. It makes me laugh. Good job!)]. Eli Manning is likely to start on Sunday despite his heel injury. The Cowboys are probably without WR Roy Williams and RB Felix Jones.

I'll post picks later today.

Week 4 Picks

Lions @ Bears - This should be all Chicago but the Lions really aren't as bad as we think they are, so look for them to keep it close.

Bengals @ Browns - Now the Browns really are bad as we think they are. I wouldn't be surprised if they go 0-16 this year.

Seahawks @ Colts - The Colts destroyed the Cards last week and Seneca Wallace is still most likely starting for the Seahawks. I expect to hear Manning to Wayne/Clark TD! a lot today.

Giants @ Chiefs - The Giants are one of the best teams in the NFL right now and the Chiefs are fighting for their rightful position near the bottom.

Ravens @ Patriots - I don't care what you say but Tom Brady isn't back just yet. His accuracy isn't back to what it was and the Ravens are red hot right now. They finally have an offense to match their defense. I expect to see a lot of unhappy Bostonians today.

Bucs @ Redskins - The Redskins are bad but the Bucs are worse.

Titans @ Jaguars - The Titans are too good of a team to end up 0-4 and 0-2 in divisional games. This is a must win for them.

Raiders @ Texans - When the coach is punching his assistant coaches (allegedly), there's an issue.

Bills @ Dolphins - Pennington is gone for the season and the Fins are 0-3. In this must-win at home, it's probably going to be all wildcat. The Bills have Lynch back this week but Jackson has been playing well anyway so I don't think it'll make that much of a difference. McKelvin is out and T.O. is clearly pissed, I think the Bills could start to spiral downward fast.

Jets @ Saints - The Jets just seem overrated to me. Remember last season when the Bills started 5-1 or something like that. I have a feeling the Jets might pull something like that and then just crash and burn. The Saints on the other hand have been destroying opponents. They give up a lot of points but no one is close to them in points for.

Cowboys @ Broncos - The Broncos might be 3-0 but they haven't beaten anyone worthwhile. The Bengals are the only decent team and that was on a fluke TD. Otherwise, they've beaten the Browns and the Raiders. Welcome to week 4: your first test.

Rams @ 49ers - The 49ers look good and even without Gore they should pound the Rams today.

Chargers @ Steelers - The Steelers aren't looking like the defending Super Bowl champs. The Chargers might have LT back today but I'm picking the Steelers to sneak out with the win.

Packers @ Vikings - If this game was in Green Bay, I'd be picking the Pack all way. But in Minnesota, I don't think the fans are going to that angry with Favre.

My T.O. rant

Here's the thing with T.O. Yeah he's a bit of a drama queen. But here's the thing with this whole situation, the Bills didn't win. So yeah T.O. is being a baby about losing his streak, but I can understand his frustration. If the Bills won and he was bitching about things, I'd just be like oh that's just T.O. being T.O. However, since they didn't, I get it. I'd be annoyed too if my team lost and I didn't contribute to the team at all. So for the first time in my life, I'm going to say, "Lay off T.O."

The blacked out Lions

Do the Lions get their first win today? The Redskins haven't looked so hot this season. Unfortunately for Detroit, if the Lions do win today, no one in Detroit will see it. So here's my problem with the league blacking out games. Can anyone in Detroit even afford to go to the game? With the current state of this economy, I almost feel bad for Lions fans in Detroit. The Lions have lost their last 19 games. That's painful enough. I understand the point in blacking games out. The teams need fans in the seats. That's obvious. But in a market like Detroit, it's hard for those fans. I read that Detroit area is expected to lose 132,000 jobs this year. That's A LOT of jobs. Detroit is suffering enough. Don't punish them because they can't afford to see their sad Lions.

Barbie's banged up fantasy team

Well this is just a Barbie's fantasy team update because I need to rant.

Starting QB: Donovan McNabb...thank you for breaking your ribs.
Starting RB: Ladanian Tomlinson....way to sprain your ankle, man.
3rd WR: Anthony Gonzalez...falling down in a heap all by yourself is obviously the most epic way to sprain your MCL
DEF: Chicago...of course Urlacher is going to sit out this season.
K: Mason Crosby...well straining your abs sounds like you just ate a little too much at an all-you-can-eat buffet. At least you're still listed as probable so I won't be too mad.

Painful team...the fantasy gods are not loving me this season.

Vick to play on Thursday

Eagles newest QB Michael Vick, who hasn't played an NFL game since Dec. 31, 2006, will make his debut with the team during their preseason game this Thursday. Reports say Vick has been playing well in practice but that's "not a game; we talkin' bout practice" (thanks Iverson). So it'll be interesting to see what happens tomorrow when he's got a real defense opposite him.

Rex Ryan is my hero

Rex Ryan is just plain awesome.

"I never came here to kiss Bill Belichick's, you know, rings. I came to win. Let's just put it that way. So we'll see what happens. I'm certainly not intimidated by New England...," Ryan said previously. Now he's still going on about it; saying, "When I said that about Belichick, I'm just letting him know I'm not intimidated by him. He's got the same position I have. We're both head coaches in this league. He just happens to have a hell of a lot more Super Bowl wins. I don't have a win." That's okay, Rex. Because anytime you think you're about to become intimidated by him just remember this ridiculously funny episode of South Park, where Cartman points out that Belichick is quite the little cheater.

"Just before the last Super Bowl, Bill Belichick gathered his football players and said let’s win this one for real… Just this one time.. Let’s not cheat. You know what happened? They lost." - Eric Cartman, South Park

You've GOT to be kidding me!

As I've said on Twitter - Brett Favre retires and unretires faster than Usain Bolt runs 100m.

So the Vikings signed Favre today. *Sigh* Thanks Minnesota. So here's the thing: Week 8 the Vikings are visiting Lambeau. Cheeseheads, I'm begging you. Find as much moldy, gross, stinky cheese and throw it at Favre. Please.

I've been a bad little blogger

Ok I apologize for being M.I.A. as of late. Everyone keeps asking me about my thoughts on Vick. Well, let me tell you.

1. I'm genuinely disappointed the Browns didn't sign him. The irony of Vick playing in the dawg pound would have been awesome.
2. He spent a lot of time in jail. He's sorry. Other guys in the league have killed people (ok allegedly have killed people) and they didn't get the flack Vick's been getting. Not that I'm saying what he did was right but he served his time. Forgive him already.
3. PETA ...you piss the world off. Seriously. Everytime you throw paint on some woman with too much money's fur coat, you know she just goes out and buys another one. Therefore, you are actually assisting in killing animals too. So yeah, PETA, go away.
4. Also, another PETA thing... Dear PETA, who is crazier: you or Philly fans? I think we all know the answer. This season is going to be a wild ride.

Sanchez becomes the next really rich rookie

Jets rookie QB Mark Sanchez signed a five-year deal worth up to $60 million, with $28 million guaranteed. The starting QB for the upcoming season hasn't been named yet and it is open for either Sanchez or Kellen Clemens.

The off-season news hogger award goes to...

Why is everything all about Brett this off-season?? Anyway Favre had his right shoulder scoped last month apparently and is working on getting back to 100%. The Vikes are still interested for who knows what reason if Favre chooses to come back and unretire AGAIN.

No action against Williamses

Word on the street is that the NFL isn't taking any action to enforce the four game suspensions on the Vikings Pat and Kevin Williams. The pair tested positive last season for a banned substance.

Vick back at home

Michael Vick left prison early this morning to make his way home in Virginia to serve two months of home confinement ending July 20th. As I'm sure most of you are aware, Vick has been serving a prison term for dog fighting. Vick apparently wants to work with the Humane Society now to show his remorse and most likely, restore his public image. NFL Commissioner Goodell suspended Vick indefinitely so I guess we'll have to wait and see if he really believes that Vick is ready to come back and play. Although, I expect to see him back in somebody's lineup eventually.

Gruden to replace Kornheiser on MNF

Former Bucs coach Jon Gruden is going to test his chops as a commentator for Monday Night Football on ESPN. Gruden will be replacing Tony Kornheiser who has decided to leave after three years. For ESPN's sake, I hope Gruden can watch his potty mouth that we're so used to lip reading on the sidelines.

Dancing with the Dolphins

Jason Taylor is back with the Miami Dolphins for a year worth $1.5 million. The former Dancing with the Stars star (that's right I said Dancing with the Stars star, not football star) played (when he wasn't injured, which was never) last season with the Washington Redskins, but was released in March. After spending 11 seasons in Miami, it only makes sense for him to return and stay/retire there.

Dear Mr. Favre

Dear Brett:

It has come to my attention that you are contemplating (yet again) a return to the NFL. I regret to inform you that unfortunately, I have had enough and frankly there is no room in my NFL fandom for you to return. I have come up with possible reasons for your return:

1. You want to further increase your chances of keeping your Most INTs record by throwing at least another 30 this season.
2. You heard the Vikes are interested and have gone senile enough to think that purple would look good on you.
3. You're hoping to go to a Florida team since that's where most people go to retire anyways.

Well here's a thought Brett, just move to Punta Gorda and do what everyone else who has hit freedom 55 does, golf, knit, do crosswords, sail, basically anything but play football. If Punta Gorda isn't good enough for you, you can check this link out.

Good luck in your retirement.

Love,

Barbie

P.S. The hat suits you.

Friday update

Here's what has been going on this week:

Falcons acquire TE Gonzalez

The Chiefs traded TE Tony Gonzalez (who wanted a trade last season) to the Atlanta Falcons for a 2010 2nd round pick. Not a bad deal since Gonzalez is getting up their in age.

Panthers sign QB Delhomme to a 5 year, $42.5 million extension

"It's all about being able to know that I can finish my career here in Carolina," Delhomme said. "That's what I've wanted, all I've ever wanted." Five years for a 34 year old QB is a long time.

People actually want QB Losman

Really?!? The Broncos and the Panthers have inquired about the Bills' back-up QB J.P. Losman. Apparently the Broncos are all about collecting QBs who can't play. But I guess Losman could back up Delhomme well enough in Carolina. Just keep handing the ball off J.P. Don't try to throw.

Colts save salary cap space with Wayne restructuring

WR Reggie Wayne agreed to a contract restructuring that would allow the Colts to save some salary cap space. Details haven't been released yet on how much it would save.

The Lions need more than a new logo

The Detroit Lions revealed their new fiercer, tougher logo. I hope they don't think that is going to solve their problems. For one, it's still baby blue. A fierce, tough, baby blue lion. So scary! Secondly, it's still the same, sad, pathetic 0-16 team. Also, Detroit's economy is so bad that who can afford a $19.99 t-shirt with the new logo. So way to go Lions; another failure.